We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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