Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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