This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
