Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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