hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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