Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
