Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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