Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am spending my child support on dildos
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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