Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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