Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
