I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
