Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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