its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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