ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
