Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
