operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is the high leading the old right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
