So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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