So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
