Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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