I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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