LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
you never un-have a 4some
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
