You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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