I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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