She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
