I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
