ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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