Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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