Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
