So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
