At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
