We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
please come you make the beer taste better
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
