So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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