i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
