Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I deserve this hangover.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
