if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
whose parrot is this?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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