His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
