So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
