From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
