I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
