I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
