Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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