Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
