Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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