3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize