She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
no you cant smoke seaweed
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
