That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
