So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
