ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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