he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
pray to the hookup gods
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
