just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
