i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
