would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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