I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
