discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
