I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
